Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
