You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
