The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
