So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
