i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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