i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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