And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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