My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I am midnight drunk by noon
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
