Whats the glycemic index on semen?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
