How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
