My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
