East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
