He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
