how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
