We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
