he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
