Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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