shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
