i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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