Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
