too bad you live with your parents still
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize