So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
