HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
