my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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