I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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