I'm gonna have a badass scar
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize