I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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