That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
