the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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