why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
try to milk me bitch
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
