just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
