Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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