i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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