Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Say something about gay babies.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
