I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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