I wanna passion pit in your ass
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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