Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
