so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
