You can't motorboat a personality
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
