He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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