I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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