Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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