come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
