Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I didn't notice because vodka
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
