Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
