Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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