I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
