at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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