Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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