I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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