You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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