she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
