how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
