i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it glows. i had to have it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
