The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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