A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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