my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
