Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
