he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
