i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
