People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
